so this is the new year

So, as 2006 draws to a close, I can think of no better way to waste time than to reflect on the past year without doing a cookie-cutter survey. So, this is as much for your enjoyment as it is mine.
2006 was a fairly good year, it, like every year, had its ups and downs and all that cliche crap.
In 2006:
I said a lot of stupid things.
I did things I promised I wouldn't do again.
I "justified" doing those stupid things to the best of by ability, which was stupidly laughable.
I saw some really good concerts (Nickel Creek, Old Crow, Beck, GnR, Dashboard, Del McCoury, etc)
I read some good books and fell in love with some new works.
I actually tried to be a better Christian, for there was a time when Christianity meant little to me, even as a Christian.
I finally made it to California.
I made some new friends and got closer to some people I had known for years.
I was cast in a church play, about which I wasn't too thrilled, and it turned out to be the best thing to happen to me in a long time.
I think, though, that one of the most important things I did this year was that I learned. I learned a lot. I learned about people and about myself. I learned that I'm not the only one who struggles with a committment to God, and I learned that God sends people into our lives for a reason, even if our views are askiew as to what that reason is, we eventually figure it out. I've also learned not to rely too heavily on intuition, that it can steer you wrong, that sometimes your intuition is just you talking to yourself, saying what you want to be true, not actually what is supposed to happen. I've learned that I should listen more closely to others in conversation, that it can save you some hardships further on down the road. I've learned that God answers prayers in the strangest ways some times: I asked for one person, and I got four, not all four in the manner for which I had prayed, that was only one of them, but new people in whom I know I can confide, four good Christians who keep me on my toes, and keep me in check, with whom I enjoy spending a lot of my time. I've learned, and am still learning, that I can't live in the past, that I have to forgive, forget and move on, and I'm trying to do that, I thank you so very much for listening to me, and helping me realize that. I've learned that life is too short to worry about things over which I have no control, to trust that God knows what He is doing, and that He is looking out for me.
So, to old friends, to new friends, to love lost, love found and love forgiven, I wish you all the best of luck in the coming new year, and ask that God bless you as he has me.
I'll see you when I see you.

Transformations

"Here," she said, handing me a twenty.
"How do you want that changed?"
"No, it's yours."
"What?"
"I owe you."
"For what?"
"You bought me those shirts."
"Jeez, that was four, five years ago..."
"Here," and walks out.
Follows, "Look, I can't take this."
"Please."
"I won't be able to sleep tonight if I take this."
"And I won't be able to sleep if you don't."
"Come on, that was years ago. I had forgotten about it untill you just mentioned it."
"So had I until a few days ago. I just happened to think about it. I decided when I got home I would take care of it."
"Please, I really can't take this."
"Look, I realized what a spoiled brat I was then. And you were nice. Keep it."
"Thanks. You have a merry Christmas."
"You, too."

Amazing Grace...

So, I used to get up on Sunday mornings and go to church. I would then go out to eat and come. Once home, I would spend my time sinning, sometimes up until we left for church that evening, go to church, and not think a thing in the world about it. Sin in some contexts didn't really bother me then. Some of you know what I'm referring to; others are scratching their heads; still others are guessing, probably incorrectly. And, whether you know what I'm talking about or not is really of no importance. The important part is this: my pastor said last week or the week before that sometimes the reason we don't "feel" like Christians is not that God has not forgiven us, obviously; it's that we can't forgive ourselves. We spend so much time beating ourselves up over mistakes we've made in the past that we can't move foreward as steadily as we would like.  we hold onto our sins and mistakes, and they hold us down.  I find that I have trouble letting go of my sins even after I've asked for forgiveness. But I'm working on it, asking God to take my anger and guilt, which was something I hadn't thought of doing before. And I'm beginning to feel better.
so, to me, that's what makes grace so amazingly beautiful: forgiveness comes to any who ask. Sometimes it takes a long time to forgive ourselves, much longer than it takes for God to forgive us, and that makes life difficult sometimes. However, we can eventually forgive ourselves and find peace... peace.... now, that's a pleasant thought.
Anyway, that's what's on my mind.
Oh, yeah, and read "The Audacity of Hope" by Senator Obama and "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller.

I'll see you when i See you...

I'M ENGAGED!!!!

Well, sorta. ok, not really, but if neither is married by the time we're 30 (which is only 10 years), it's an option. and as things seem to go for me....Thank goodness for turkey basters....

anyway, only one person will get that and find it humorous. well, one other than me.

and on to other news:
I think i may buy a one way ticket to California once next semester ends and not decide when to come home until I'm actually ready to come home. Last trip, i knew when I was coming home. I don't want to know how long is it going to last next time.  I had planned on going with someone, tentatively... but anyway... it should still be fun. I think this is the plan to which I will stick unless something great and drastic happens, which I don't foresee. But it will be nice to get away, seeing as how most of my time as of late is spent after work playing piano at church, usually by myself, or on occasion with the company of one other person.

New Year's Eve is less than a month away. With that in mind, "You going to be in town for New Year's?"  "I don't know, but where ever I am, I'll be with Kacey." "Thanks. I'm going to go throw up now." So, hopefully, New Year's Eve won't be too bad this year. I know the company I would like to keep this year, but who knows; I guess we'll have to wait and see. Why do people put so much stock in a New Year's kiss... O well.

Anyway, I'm off to Paint My Masterpiece....
(That's a Dylan reference, by the way....)

I'll see you when I see you.

"I think that's.... I can't tell."
"Well, she stared at me and gave me a really funny look."
"O, well. That's gonna be an interesting conversation."
Three hours later...
"Yep, that's who I thougth it was."
"Did we bring a camera."
"No, mine's at the house."
"And yes I said 'we' because we're obviously married."

I'll see you when I see you.